Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
I received a photo from one of my future wife’s bridesmaids featuring her, and it led me to call off the wedding
As their wedding day drew near, Jake and Lily were filled with excitement and nervous anticipation. They looked forward to celebrating their love with family and friends and beginning their life together. Unbeknownst to them, however, Megan, Lily’s best friend and bridesmaid, was harboring dark intentions. Overwhelmed by jealousy, Megan was unable to accept that Lily and Jake were so happy; in fact, she had secret feelings for Jake. Consumed by envy, she devised a scheme to sow discord in their relationship.
Just a week before the wedding, Megan sent Jake a photo of Lily in her wedding dress, accompanied by a chilling message implying that something terrible would happen if they went through with the marriage. The image rattled Jake and filled him with doubt.
Haunted by Megan’s ominous warning, Jake faced an agonizing decision and ultimately chose to call off the wedding, fearing the consequences of defying the superstition. Lily was left heartbroken and confused, unable to understand Jake’s sudden change of heart. In the months that followed, their friendship with Megan deteriorated. Influenced by Megan’s negativity, Jake and Lily found themselves starting anew, their once close-knit group now strained and distant.
To heal from the shock of the cancellation, they put their wedding plans on hold indefinitely. A year later, however, Jake and Lily discovered that their bond had only strengthened. With newfound clarity, they decided to try again, opting for a smaller, more intimate ceremony without the pressure of toxic friendships or superstitions. They sought to surround themselves with those who truly valued their happiness, ultimately choosing to part ways with Megan for good.
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