Let’s start with a sobering reality check: although dating a married man can seem like an exhilarating roller coaster ride, those tracks frequently end in an emotional crash. What begins as a seductive diversion could turn into you and your spouse juggling a difficult divorce and grieving family. And should he decide to divorce his wife, you may have to deal with a future tainted with resentment and mistrust due to previous upheaval. We promise that the heartache won’t be worth it.
1. You are not going to be the top priority.
First things first: you will never be a married man’s first priority if he has a wife and children. Even while he might try to convince you that he no longer loves his wife, his kids will always come first, especially if they’re small. His family obligations will always be a cloud over your affair, keeping him away when you most need him.
2. He Won’t Ever See Your Friends and Family
Consider this: how frequently can you take him to see your loved ones? There are very few intimate get-togethers where your significant someone eventually meets the people in your inner circle. There will always be secret meetings and skulking around, depriving you of the happiness that comes from discussing your connection with others.
3. It’s Unlikely That He Will Divorce His Wife
Admittedly, there aren’t many married men who genuinely leave their wives for their extramarital companions. The hard truth? Most likely, you’re not the only one. Children involved in a divorce create a huge mess, thus their emotional health will always come first. Thus, you might be left hanging forever.
4. You Might Face Penalties for Dismantling a Family
Prepare for a storm if the wife discovers. Imagine if their marriage failed, and guess who might be held accountable? You can become known as the “homewrecker,” which would be detrimental to your feeling of value and self-esteem. It’s a big emotional weight to bear.
5. You Will Have to Wait a Long Time
Consider this: even if he swears to divorce his wife, are you really going to stay and watch to see if he keeps his word? Is your time truly worth spending with this morally dubious individual when there are seven billion people on the planet? What prevents him from betraying you in the future if he can cheat on his wife?
6. You’re Not Getting the Chance to Meet a Single Man
Rather from wishing that one day he will pick you over his wife, put your efforts into finding a compatible partner. Your chances of discovering genuine, unconditional love with someone who isn’t already in a committed relationship are reduced if you start acting like “the other woman.”
7. He Doesn’t Offer You Support When You Need It
Having a support system in a committed relationship is a wonderful thing, especially when times are hard. But a married man involved in an extramarital affair is taking on too much responsibility. He must split his attention between you, his wife, and his children, therefore he is unable to provide you with complete emotional support. Be ready for inconsistent support and occasional appearances.
8. You Have a Short Term
We hate to break the news to you, but if you’re accused of “having an affair,” this relationship probably won’t last long. Paradoxically, he is less likely to leave his wife the longer the affair continues. It turns into a vicious circle of broken promises and postponement.
9. Hiding Is Tiresome
It stinks to live in the shadows. Your self-esteem will suffer and you will be deprived of the opportunity to freely and blissfully experience love if you keep your relationship hidden. Envision the uncomplicated liberty of clasping hands in public or dining together without the apprehension of being discovered. It’s freeing.
So, carefully consider these points before starting or continuing an affair with a married man. Think about your emotional health and your future. You should have someone who can give you their whole attention, free from tangled relationships and ulterior motives.
Stay amazing and make smart decisions!
At 58, I Found Love Again, but His Ex-wife Was Hell-Bent on Ruining Our Happiness — Story of the Day
At 58, I thought love had passed me by until I met Oliver. Just as our happiness began to bloom, his ex-wife stormed back into his life, determined to tear us apart. What followed was a battle for peace and the strength to overcome the shadows of the past. Could love conquer all?
“Another quiet morning,” I whispered to myself, gazing out the window at the ocean. The waves rolled in gently, and the breeze carried that familiar, salty scent.
It had been years since my divorce, and I had gotten used to the solitude.
“I don’t need anyone,” I would often remind myself, my fingers tapping rhythmically on the keyboard.
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My novels had taken off once I fully committed to writing. The quiet house, with only the sound of seagulls and the ocean, gave me the peace I thought I needed.
But every so often, I’d find myself staring out at the horizon, thinking.
Is this really enough?
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It wasn’t until Oliver showed up that I realized the answer might be no.
One morning, as I sipped my coffee on the porch, I noticed him for the first time. A tall, charming man, maybe a few years younger than me, strolling along the beach with his golden retriever. I watched as they passed by my house.
“Morning,” he called out, tipping his head with a friendly smile.
“Good morning,” I replied, feeling a little shy.
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Each day after that, I found myself looking out for him. I would watch as he walked along the beach, sometimes playing with his dog, sometimes just staring out at the sea. And each time, my heart would skip a beat.
“Why am I so nervous?” I muttered to myself, shaking my head. “It’s just a neighbor. Calm down.”
But I couldn’t. And my feelings grew stronger every time I saw him. Still, I hesitated.
Is it possible to open up to someone again?
One afternoon, while I was trimming my roses, I heard a rustling sound and a loud thud behind me.
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Startled, I turned to see a golden blur darting into my garden.
“Charlie! Get back here!” I heard Oliver call, and seconds later, he appeared, breathless and apologetic.
“I’m so sorry! He just got away from me.”
I laughed, bending down to pet the dog.
“It’s alright. He’s cute.”
“He’s a handful, but I wouldn’t trade him for anything.”
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“Do you… enjoy reading?” I asked, my voice tentative, hoping to keep the conversation alive.
Oliver chuckled. “I’m a writer. It comes with the territory.”
“We are colleagues!” My eyes lit up. “I’m a novelist too.”
We talked about our favorite books, about writing, and soon enough, the conversation flowed easily.
“You know,” I said, taking a deep breath, “I don’t usually do this, but… would you like to have dinner sometime?”
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Oliver raised an eyebrow, surprised but pleased.
“I’d love to.”
Just like that, the plan was set.
***
The next evening was perfect. We laughed and shared stories. Maybe this is what I’ve been missing all along. But just as I started to relax, a woman appeared at our table. Her eyes were hard, and she looked straight at Oliver.
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“We need to talk. Now,” she demanded, completely ignoring me.
“Excuse me, we’re in the middle of…” I started.
“Not now,” she snapped, her eyes never even glancing in my direction. It was as if I didn’t exist.
I felt my face flush, my words stuck in my throat. Oliver looked flustered, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
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“I’m sorry, Haley,” he muttered, standing up awkwardly. “I have to go.”
I watched, speechless, as he followed her out, leaving me sitting there, feeling invisible. The chatter of the restaurant buzzed around me, but I was numb, frozen in place.
The empty chair across from me seemed like a reflection of how abandoned I felt.
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***
Two days had passed since that awkward dinner, and Oliver still hadn’t called. The silence weighed on me more than I wanted to admit. I felt hurt, confused, and, honestly, a little humiliated.
My mind kept replaying the scene, the way he left without a proper explanation, the way that woman had dismissed me as if I didn’t matter.
I sat at my desk, trying to focus on my writing, but it was no use. My thoughts kept drifting back to that night.
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Had I made a mistake inviting him? Was he just playing with me? Who was that woman? And why did he leave with her without even a real explanation?
I was about to give up and close my laptop when I heard a knock at the door. My heart raced as I stood up, part of me hoping, and part of me dreading what might come next.
When I opened the door, Oliver was standing on my doorstep with flowers in his hand.
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I stared at him, unsure of what to say.
“I’m sorry, Haley,” he began.
“That woman from the other night… She’s my ex-wife, Rebecca. She shows up like that sometimes, trying to stir things up and ruin my relationships. I didn’t want to make a scene, so I had to leave with her.”
I tried to mask my emotions. “Why didn’t you tell me that then?”
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“I panicked. I should have explained. I’m sorry.”
He paused, offering the flowers.
“I want to make it up to you. I have a literary event coming up. Will you come? It’ll be quieter, and maybe we can spend some time together.”
I hesitated a bit but then nodded.
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***
I had dressed carefully, hoping for a peaceful evening, a chance to talk to Oliver without interruptions. Maybe, tonight will be different.
Oliver greeted me with a warm smile. “I’m glad you came.”
I smiled back, trying to push aside the unease I still felt.
The evening started well. Oliver’s presentation was engaging. For a while, I forgot about everything that had happened.
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But just as I began to feel at ease, the mood in the room shifted.
I saw the same woman from that night at the restaurant. Rebecca. She strode in with a determined look on her face, her eyes scanning the room until they landed on Oliver. My stomach dropped.
Without hesitation, she marched over to where Oliver and I stood.
“You thought you could just move on, didn’t you, Oliver?” she spat, glaring at him.
The room grew quiet, and all eyes were on us.
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“Rebecca, this isn’t the time or place.”
Oliver took a step toward her, trying to calm her down, but it only made things worse.
“Time or place? How dare you?” she snapped, her voice rising. “You’re a liar and a cheat! You think you can just forget about everything we had? You think you can walk away from me?”
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People began to whisper, their curiosity piqued by the unfolding drama.
Rebecca’s eyes turned to me then.
“And you,” she said, her voice dripping with venom, “you’re just another one of his mistakes.”
Before I could even respond, she grabbed a glass of wine from a nearby table and threw it in my face. The cold liquid soaked my hair and dress.
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Gasps filled the room. For a second, I just stood there, too humiliated to move. My cheeks burned with embarrassment, and all I wanted to do was disappear.
Security rushed in and quickly escorted Rebecca out, but the damage was already done.
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I felt small and exposed. The warmth I had felt earlier was gone, replaced by a crushing sense of shame. I wiped my face and looked at Oliver, who stood there, silent and torn.
“What is going on, Oliver? Why is she doing this? And what aren’t you telling me?”
Oliver sighed, running a hand through his hair.
“I… I haven’t told you everything,” he admitted, his eyes full of regret.
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“Rebecca and I have been separated for a while, but during that time, I had an affair. It was a mistake, and I’ve regretted it ever since. Then Rebecca came back into my life and took control. She managed everything. My finances. My schedule. She used my guilt to keep me trapped.”
I felt a heavy weight settle over me and realized how deep that mess went.
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“I’ve been trying to leave her for good, but she refuses to let go,” he continued. “I didn’t want to drag you into all of this.”
“I don’t think I can do this, Oliver,” I whispered. “I’m not ready for this kind of drama in my life.”
Without waiting for his response, I turned and walked out, the cool evening air hitting my face as I stepped outside.
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***
Several days had passed since the disastrous evening at the literary event, and I couldn’t stop thinking about Oliver. Despite everything that had happened, I missed him.
I tried to push the feelings away, to convince myself that walking out had been the right choice, but the ache of missing him wouldn’t fade.
One afternoon, as I sat by the window, a flicker of movement caught my eye. It was at Oliver’s house. I watched as Rebecca hurried back and forth, swiftly loading boxes into a car.
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Is he moving out? Why is she here?
I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I had to tell him that he needed to be stronger, to stand up for himself, and to stop letting people like Rebecca control his life.
Summoning my courage, I stepped outside and made my way toward his house.
But as I approached, something felt different. Oliver’s car pulled up, and when he stepped out, there was a calm, resolute look on his face—one I hadn’t seen before. I hesitated, keeping my distance, watching as he walked straight to Rebecca.
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“It’s over, Rebecca,” I heard him say. “Take the money, take the house—whatever you want. But you will not interfere in my life anymore.”
Rebecca froze, staring at him in disbelief. “You can’t be serious.”
“I am,” he said, his voice unwavering. “If you don’t respect that, I’ll file a restraining order. This ends today.”
I stood there, shocked. That was a side of Oliver I had never seen.
At that moment, I knew. He had finally taken control of his life, and that was exactly what I needed to see.
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