Becoming a mom to a second child decades after my first one was meant to be positively life-changing. But my son announced he was expecting a child too, and that’s where our clashes began! His pregnant girlfriend threw tantrums making demands I wasn’t willing to accommodate!
An unhappy pregnant woman lying in a hospital bed | Source: Freepik
My son, Kyle, was born when I was 20 and still a child myself, but I think I did the best for him as a parent.
This year was supposed to be one of joyful experiences. First, at forty-two, 22 years after welcoming Kyle, I chose to become a mother for the second time! The second happy thing that happened also left ME shocked!
A happy pregnant woman looking at herself in a mirror | Source: Pexels
Kyle, who was in his final year of college, broke the news of his girlfriend’s pregnancy when I was four months along! I hadn’t expected that before the year was out I’d become a mother and soon afterward, a grandmother!
I am not going to lie, but I wasn’t very thrilled about my son becoming a parent at a young age like me. From my own experiences, which include being a single parent, bringing up a baby when you’re still pretty much one is HARD.
But, I refrained from saying anything because Kyle seemed excited.
A young pregnant couple | Source: Pexels
“That’s amazing, Kyle! I can’t believe you’re going to be a father!” I exclaimed, hugging him. “Thanks, Mom! Well, you’re going to be a first-time grandmother!” he replied, returning the warm embrace.
“Our children are going to be born a few months apart!” I realized this as we discussed the matter further.
Despite the initial shock, I embraced my new role. I started supporting them both emotionally and with a lot of financial help. Our lives, already intertwined, were about to grow even closer—or so I thought.
A worried woman | Source: Pexels
The tension began when I recently gave birth to my beautiful baby girl. Kyle and his girlfriend, Sarah, were some of the people who visited me in the hospital. “Congratulations! You’re now a parent to two gorgeous children!” Kyle said as he tied down balloons and his girlfriend gave me flowers.
“Aw! Thanks for coming through, guys. The flowers and balloons are lovely!” Luck was on their side because right at that moment, the nurse wheeled in my baby girl for me to feed her. “What is my baby sister’s name?” my son asked while touching her tiny fist.
A happy woman cradling her newborn baby | Source: Getty Images
“I named her Clara,” I proudly told them. The name held sentimental value to me and it was one I thought would usher in a new chapter for our growing family. But, Kyle and his girlfriend had other ideas!
When they found out her name, my son’s girlfriend gave out a piercing scream! I swear, I thought I had become deaf! My baby girl broke out in her own bawl, frightened by the unexpected sound!
I held my precious bundle close to me and tried to comfort her.
An upset woman screaming | Source: Pexels
Their visit to the hospital should have been a happy occasion, but it dissolved into chaos! The nurse came rushing back in, concerned about baby Clara. Sarah had screamed so loudly that I feared for the hospital’s windows!
Their demand was immediate and absurd: I was to change Clara’s name. “The point is, this name…” Kyle tried to argue, his face red with frustration. The nurse, realizing that some serious drama was about to unfold, asked:
“Can I take Cla… I mean, the baby back? I’ll bring her in again later when things are calmer.”
A nurse holding a baby | Source: Getty Images
With my newborn safe from the spectacle that was unfolding, I stood firm as I said “NO,” the weight of my decision unequivocal. Sarah tried saying something but Kyle grabbed hold of her arm.
They stormed out of the hospital, leaving a wake of bewildered nurses and a very tired new mom.
A couple walking away together | Source: Freepik
Days turned into weeks, and the issue seemed to simmer down. Yet, Kyle and Sarah announced they had chosen a new name for their daughter: Paxtyn. The name fell flat between us during a tense family dinner. My unintentional grimace set off a firestorm.
“It’s your fault!” Sarah accused, her voice sharp with resentment. “You stole the only name I liked, and now you ruin this one too!”
“Could you please stop shouting? My baby is trying to sleep in the other room,” I implored her.
An unhappy couple at a dinner | Source: Pexels
Kyle, caught between us, tried to mend fences. “Mom, could you reconsider it? Just to keep peace?” His eyes pleaded for some compromise.
But the idea of changing my daughter’s name to appease them felt wrong. “I cannot believe you’d ask me to rename my child,” I told him, the absurdity of the situation not lost on me. “Firstly, my baby came before your child.”
“Secondly, you guys NEVER mentioned wanting to name your child that.”
Let me tell you, that dinner ended then and there as we couldn’t reach a compromise.
A woman arguing with someone | Source: Pexels
Their threats escalated over the next few days. “You have two months to fix this,” Kyle warned over the phone.
It seemed he was implying that by the time their child was born, I should’ve changed my daughter’s name. Sarah grabbed hold of the phone. She said, “We’ll call your granddaughter Paxtyn and I’ll enjoy it when I tell my friends her ridiculous name!”
An upset woman talking on the phone | Source: Pixabay
I couldn’t believe this young woman’s nerve! She was saying she hates ME more than she loves HER daughter. “You’re willing to have her ridiculed for the rest of her life to punish ME?” I asked incredulously.
When my son snatched the phone back, I questioned if he even liked the name Paxtyn, and he hung up!
A man talking on the phone | Source: Pexels
In a moment of exasperation, I texted Sarah, trying perhaps foolishly to extend an olive branch. “I’ve been thinking about it, and I kind of like the name Paxtyn,” I lied.
Her response was swift and venomous. “To hell with you!”
That text ended not only the conversation but also my financial help to them. It was a harsh line to draw, but necessary for my sanity and respect. I refused to be blackmailed over a name, especially one that meant so much to me.
A woman texting on her phone in her bedroom | Source: Pexels
In the quiet that followed, I held Clara close. Her innocent eyes are wide and uncomprehending of the adult complexities swirling around her. I whispered promises of love and protection, a vow to keep her world as pure and joyful as possible.
As for Kyle and Sarah, the distance between us grew. They chose to keep the name Paxtyn, a constant reminder of the rift. Yet, despite the heartache, I remain hopeful. Time, I believe, heals and teaches in equal measure.
A young couple with their child | Source: Pexels
Someday, they might understand why I had to stand my ground. For now, I focus on Clara, my unexpected blessing, and let the storm of that year slowly fade into memory.
A woman holding her baby at the beach | Source: Pexels
Kyle’s mother had to put her foot down and some boundaries but things didn’t end well in her relationship with her son. Unfortunately, Ella had a similar situation with her daughter, but she fell pregnant. The pregnant daughter ended up breaking her mother’s trust, causing a strain between them.
Am I a Bad Mother for Kicking My Pregnant Daughter Out?
Hi, I’m Ella, and I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster lately. I’m a single mom to my 19-year-old daughter, Rose, who’s been dating Nathan, a guy I surprisingly warmed up to, considering I’m pretty guarded.
A young and happy couple | Source: Pexels
They seemed perfect together until one day Rose dropped a bombshell—she was pregnant and engaged to Nathan. Just as I was wrapping my head around becoming a grandmother and accepting their future together, my world turned upside down!
I came home early one day, expecting a quiet afternoon, only to find Rose in a compromising situation with another man! The heartbreak and betrayal I felt at that moment were overwhelming. I asked the stranger to leave immediately and confronted Rose.
A couple caught in bed together | Source: Freepik
Her tearful pleas and explanations did little to calm the storm inside me. In a moment of hurt and anger, I told her she needed to leave our home. Now, I’m left questioning everything. Should I tell Nathan about what happened?
Did I overreact by asking Rose to leave? I’m torn between my love for my daughter and the betrayal I feel. What would you do in my shoes?
An upset woman thinking about something | Source: Getty Images
10 Cultural Tips You Need to Be Aware of Before Traveling to India
There are some traditions that have not gotten lost in time and are still respected. Every country and culture is different from one another, and India is a great example of this. People behave, eat, and even dress differently. They have their own traditions and customs, and as tourists, these need to be honored. And this is exactly what we’d like to bring forth in this article.
We at Bright Side have been mesmerized by the uniqueness of Indian culture, so we’d like to share with you a few useful tips to make the most out of your trip.
1. You must not touch books or instruments with your feet.
In India, children are taught from a young age that books are knowledge. They even have a Goddess of Learning, Saraswati. Therefore, touching books with one’s feet or even kicking a school bag full of notebooks or books is considered disrespectful.
Any instrument that is used to develop one’s knowledge is also considered very important and must not be touched by the feet. Even pens and pencils are important, according to Indian culture, and must be respected as such.
2. Don’t be afraid to explore Indian street food.
Exploring foreign cuisine is generally very important when visiting other countries, and sometimes the best food around is the kind made at that small corner vendor. And Indian food is no exception, as it’s one of the richest cuisines out there. It’s a must-try for sure. Just watch out for that extra-spicy food!
As with any street food experience, you must be careful. Seek fresh food, avoid milk products as they can sometimes be spoiled, avoid ice or water that was not heated well (definitely try to avoid tap water), and generally look forward to trying clean (and busy) vendors.
3. Don’t be too polite.
Saying “please” and “thank you” is normal and respectful for us, like at a restaurant or a shop. However, in India, when used too much, you can come across as rude or impolite. Who would’ve thought, right?
When it comes to friends and family, traditional ways of showing appreciation can sometimes create tension or express a level of formality that should not exist. Instead of saying “thank you,” you can try saying “I appreciate it.”
4. Only use your right hand when giving or taking anything.
Many cultures have actually adopted this practice. In many cultures, the right hand is considered pure and even lucky! In India, it is believed that the left hand is impure, as it is used for cleaning shoes, feet, and generally dirty work. So when it comes to food, drinks, and handing objects to other people, we must always use the right hand to show respect.
5. Do not point your finger.
Usually, we use our pointer finger to give directions at a restaurant or generally when referring to something in particular. But this is definitely not the case in India.
Pointing your finger at an object or place is considered rude and impolite. If you wish to give directions or point out something to someone, you must do so by using your whole palm or your thumb. This way, it’s more gentle and polite.
6. Expect to use cash only.
If you’re visiting a small town in India, you should expect to pay with cash most of the time. While in the bigger cities, malls, restaurants, and shops, credit or debit cards may be accepted, they are still rare, and the smaller cities make use of cash. So it would be smart to keep some cash with you, just in case.
7. Not everyone is going to speak English.
Of course, you might be lucky enough to be able to use English inside bigger cities, restaurants, hotels, or certain shops, however, this is not the case for smaller villages. Here, you should expect people to use their native language, which is not necessarily a bad thing.
Spending time among foreign people and hearing their native language might actually do you some good. You can pick up a new language, getting to know a new culture.
8. Learn about and use traditional greetings.
Respect is required everywhere you go in the world, and India is no exception. You can show your respect for the country and its people by learning about their culture and traditional greetings. One such greeting that is used in a general manner is “namaste.” You can put your palms together and bow to show respect while saying namaste, or, if you’d like to be more formal, you can use “namaskar.”
As English has become more globalized, “hello’’ is also used, especially among tourists and foreigners. Just know that “goodbye” is usually not used, as it implies you won’t be seeing each other anymore, or that you are asking for permission to leave.
9. Don’t use public displays of affection.
Public display of affection is generally looked down upon as it is quite a private thing. However, in India, you must not show affection in public. When you visit a new or foreign country, you might want to blend in with other people so as to not get unwanted stares. This is one of those things you must do.
Try and avoid holding hands or using overly affectionate gestures in public, as it is frowned upon. You can even spend time in jail!
10. Know that in small towns, you must wear decent clothes.
One of the most important things to keep in mind when coming to India is the way you present yourself. As a quite conservative country, it’s good to respect its culture and people, and you can start with your clothes. Even if it’s hot outside, try and cover yourself. This way, you can pay your respects to the country, and also make yourself look like a local.
If you’re visiting a particular attraction, it’s important to wrap a scarf around your head to show respect and politeness.
Have you ever traveled to India? Which aspect of Indian culture intrigues you the most?
Leave a Reply