I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along.Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
Do You Recognize this Vintage Kitchen Tool?
The advancement of culinary arts has made a number of incredibly useful kitchen tools and gadgets available to the general public. On the other hand, antique kitchenware has a very endearing and reassuring quality. Some, like the retro meatball maker, may not even be recognizable after undergoing numerous design changes.
Though frequently linked to Italian cooking, it’s thought that Rome is where the first meatballs were created. Long ago, in addition to the more well-known Sweden, there were also versions in ancient China, Turkey, and Persia.
Some had different proportions of meat and rice or meat and lentils, while others had different ingredients. Meatballs can be a meal on their own or added to pasta dishes, soups, salads, and sandwiches.
Meatballs are a very simple and versatile staple dish. As a result, it is easy to understand why they have a prominent place in cuisine around the globe. It is challenging to precisely and consistently size and shape them by hand each time. Therefore, the meatball maker is a handy kitchen appliance that has long been in demand.
First off, a meatball maker is a useful tool for consistency, as was already mentioned. not only guarantees even cooking but also enhances the dish’s overall appearance. Secondly, kids will love using the meatball maker, especially the classic style. Finally, families can be surprisingly adaptable, giving them an additional reason to spend more time together.
Although the meatball maker’s primary function was to shape meatballs, it can also be used to create flawless falafel or hush puppies. In the meantime, the more contemporary designs of today make it possible to do things like make the ideal cake pop or cookie dough scoop.
You can find antique or vintage meatball makers at thrift stores and antique stores. As an alternative, you can find a variety of contemporary meatball makers online or in kitchen supply stores. Certain pieces bear a striking resemblance to those timeless and endearing vintage pieces, even though their shapes and functions differ greatly.
The meatball master, for instance, is a meatball shaper that can hold 32 identically sized and perfectly formed meatballs at once. The meatballs can be kept on this plastic tray until you’re ready to cook them. However, as one person astutely pointed out, “the amount of time it takes makes it easier to do by hand,” so their kids use it for play-dough.
This meatball maker is a well-liked kitchen appliance for people who have big families or frequently host guests.Similarly, the ‘Mind Reader Magic Meatball Maker‘ makes 16 perfectly round meatballs and stores them in a plastic container until it’s time to cook the perfect, mouthwatering bite size meatball, cake pop, or dumpling.
Resembling Vintage Designs
The typical “Meat Baller” is another well-liked meatball maker. There are finger slots that have an old-fashioned look or resemble scissors. It is actually comparable to the previous version in nearly every aspect. Today’s model, on the other hand, has polished stainless steel that is “non-stick,” non-slip padded handles, and produces a flawlessly presented ball of food.
The Spring Chef Cookie Scoop is an additional choice with a somewhat different design; while it’s not intended to be a meatball maker, it can still be used for that purpose and has a cute appearance. It can be squeezed together to resemble a pair of locked pliers and has a silicone-padded handle.
In contrast, the LEEFONE Meatball scoop lacks padded handles, making it closely resemble the vintage model. On the other hand, it is composed of polished stainless steel noonstick.
A useful and adaptable kitchen tool, meatball makers are used to make the ideal meatballs, which are a staple of many ancient recipes. The meatballs are surprisingly versatile, making them an excellent bite-sized appetizer for dinner parties or a great complement to a variety of dishes, such as pasta and soups. Both the chef and the diner will undoubtedly have a better experience with the meatball maker.
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