Matt Heath: My parting message: Enjoy things while they are around

A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.

Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.

Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.

Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.

Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.

A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”

Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.

While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?

Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”

With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.

There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).

A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.

Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.

Bless!

They blocked off the road after realizing what this elephant was carrying with its trunk

Deep within the animal realm, among the verdant forests and huge savannas, lives a unique species that goes by the name of elephant. Scientists and environmentalists have long been fascinated by these gentle giants. After years of intensive study and close observation, we now know that elephants have a profound emotional range and a grieving process that is remarkably comparable to our own.

George Wittemyer is a committed conservation biologist from Colorado State University who has spent a large amount of his professional life researching elephants. He once gave National Geographic a glimpse into his observations, illuminating the complex and mysterious mechanisms by which these majestic creatures deal with the death of a fellow herd member.

“Elephants have respect for their dead,” Wittemyer stated, “but their interaction with their dead is not something we fully understand.” Researchers have been intrigued by this mysterious part of their behaviour, which shows that when these animals experience the loss of one of their own, they react from deep-seated emotions.

Recently, Twitter user Parveen Kaswan released a video that revealed this fascinating discovery, underscoring the depth of elephants’ emotional intelligence and their distinct grieving process. The film shows a scenario on a peaceful road where all of the traffic has stopped and people are staring at an incredible sight.

A magnificent herd of elephants is crossing the street with a grace that is appropriate for their size and harmony. One elephant in particular sticks out in the parade, softly holding something in its trunk. Viewers, intrigued, quickly discover that the elephant is bearing a young, dead elephant calf, which is inert.

The herd stops quite solemnly, and the elephant carrying the small load carefully lays the dead calf on the ground. The others assemble around, creating a circle of respect. This scenario is quite moving; it conveys a sense of shared sadness and mourning.

The title of the video, as Parveen Kaswan so eloquently put it, “The family just don’t want to leave the baby.” Their behaviour is reminiscent of the solemn cortege of a deceased person.

The elephants continue to amaze and astound researchers and viewers alike with their level of emotional depth as they exhibit an instinctive reverence for the deceased and an understanding of the great grief they have experienced.

As they go on their trek, a second elephant comes up and tenderly cradles the dead calf in its trunk. Elephant herds are emotionally connected to one another, and this display of deep grieving and solidarity emphasises how capable elephants are of feeling loss and sadness.

This will move you !! Funeral procession of the weeping elephants carrying dead body of the child elephant. The family just don’t want to leave the baby.

The film serves as a moving reminder of the extraordinarily emotional lives that elephants lead and is evidence of the strong bonds that exist among animals. It’s a tale that connects our worlds and serves as a moving reminder of the intricacy and beauty of nature. Please spread the word about this post on Facebook to your loved ones so that others can also be moved by the moving scenes shown in the film.

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