Ever find yourself needing a quick pick-me-up during a long day? Laughter is the perfect antidote to stress and boredom. This collection of 11 jokes is sure to deliver a healthy dose of humor.
Get ready to chuckle your way through these hilarious jokes about everything from bar buddies to blundering farmers. Whether you’re a fan of witty wordplay or quirky animal antics, there’s something here to tickle everyone’s funny bone.
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform waddling into a bar | Source: Midjourney
1. Drink Down
A guy walks into a bar and orders two shots. He drinks both and leaves. He does the same thing every day for a while.
One day, the bartender asks, “Why do you always order two shots?”
The guy says, “My brother and I used to drink together all the time, but now he lives far away. So, one shot is for me, and one is for him.”
Two brothers laughing while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
This goes on for a while, and then one day the guy only orders one shot.
The bartender worries and asks, “What happened? Is your brother okay?”
The guy replies, “Yeah, he’s fine. I just quit drinking.”
Man looking sad while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
2. Penguin Parade
A police officer stopped a semi-truck driver and asked for his license and registration. The officer heard odd sounds from the trailer and decided to inspect it. He found 50 penguins inside.
“Why are there 50 penguins in your truck?” the officer asked.
“They’re my buddies,” the driver replied. “We enjoy traveling together.”
“You can’t just own 50 penguins,” the officer said. “You need to take them to the zoo.”
Police officer frowning next to a semi-truck holding a notepad | Source: Midjourney
The driver agreed and drove away. The next day, the same officer stopped the same truck and heard the same strange noises. He checked the trailer and found the same 50 penguins.
“I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer exclaimed.
“I did!” the driver responded. “They had a great time. Today, we’re going to the beach.”
Penguins walking through a regular sunny beach | Source: Midjourney
3. The Plasterer
A duck waddled into a pub and asked for a beer and a ham sandwich.
The bartender stared and said, “Hold on a sec! You’re a duck!”
“That’s pretty obvious,” the duck replied.
“And you talk!” shouted the bartender.
“And you hear well!” the duck said. “Now, about that beer and sandwich?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform sitting at a bar eating a sandwich | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, right, sorry,” the bartender said, pouring the duck’s beer. “We don’t get many ducks around here. What brings you in?”
“I’m working at that construction site over there,” the duck explained. “I’m a plasterer.”
The bartender was surprised, but let the duck be when he pulled out a newspaper to read.
The duck read the paper, ate his food, and left. He did this every day for two weeks.
A duck sitting at a bar reading a newspaper | Source: Midjourney
Then, the circus came to town. The circus manager came into the pub, and the bartender said, “Hey, you’re with the circus, right? I know a duck who’d be a star in your show! He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the paper… he’s amazing!”
“Is that right?” the circus manager said, handing the bartender his card. “Tell him to give me a call.”
The next day, when the duck came in, the bartender said, “Hey Mr. Duck, I think I found you a fantastic job that pays really well.”
“I’m always interested in new opportunities,” the duck said. “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” the bartender answered.
A circus in a field | Source: Midjourney
“The circus?” the duck asked.
“Yep,” said the bartender.
“The circus?” the duck asked again. “The one with the big tent?”
“Exactly!” said the bartender.
“With the animals in cages and people living in trailers?” asked the duck.
“That’s the one,” said the bartender.
“And the tent is made of that heavy fabric with a hole at the top?” the duck asked.
“That’s right!” said the bartender.
The duck shook his head and said, “Why would they need a plasterer?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform working as a plasterer | Source: Midjourney
4. Slowpoke Centipede
A man saw a sign at a pet store that said, “Talking Centipede $100.” He thought it was cool and bought it. When he got home, he opened the box and asked the centipede if it wanted to grab a beer. The centipede didn’t say anything, so the man thought he got ripped off.
After a while, he tried again. He shouted, “Want to go get a beer?” The centipede popped out of the box and said, “Be quiet! I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”
A fairytale version of a centipede talking and putting on shoes inside a box | Source: Midjourney
5. Hell’s Handyman
An engineer died and went to Hell.
The devil was shocked because engineers don’t usually go there. Hell was a mess: the AC was busted, the pool was empty, and everything was broken.
The engineer got to work fixing things. He fixed the AC, filled the pool, and even made the roads better.
God saw that everyone in Hell was having fun, which wasn’t right. He asked the devil what was going on.
A cartoon version of God in Hell looking confused because people are having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
The devil said, “That engineer you sent here has been fixing everything. He’s made Hell a nice place!”
God said, “What? Engineers don’t belong in Hell! That was a mistake. Send him back so I can put him in Heaven!”
The devil said, “No way, we like him here.”
God said, “Send him back, or I’ll sue you!”
The devil laughed and said, “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”
A cartoon version of the devil in Hell shrugging with people having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
6. The Big-Time Lawyer
Joe left his small town to go to college and law school. He became a lawyer and went back to his hometown because he wanted to be a big deal there.
He opened his own office, but no one came at first. One day, he saw a man walking toward his office. Joe wanted to impress this man, so he pretended to be on the phone.
A man sitting on a desk in a tiny office talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
When the man walked in, Joe started talking loudly on the phone, saying things like, “No way! Tell those guys in New York I want $1 million! I’m going to court next week! My team is the best! We’re going to win for sure! Yeah, the judge already knows I’m right! No, I don’t care what they offer, we’re not backing down!”
He talked like this for a long time while the man waited. Finally, Joe hung up the phone and said to the man, “Sorry I took so long, I’m really busy. What can I do for you?”
The man answered, “I’m here to install your phone line.”
Man in uniform standing by the doorway of an office | Source: Midjourney
7. Chick Magnet
A man from the city moved to the countryside and wanted to try farming. He went to the farm store and said, “I’ll take 100 baby chicks.”
The store worker gave him the chicks.
A week later, the man came back and said, “I need 200 baby chicks this time.” The worker gave him the chicks.
Another week passed, and the man returned. He said, “Give me 500 baby chicks.”
“Wow,” the worker said, “you must be doing great!”
A man dressed as a farmer smiling with small chicks nearby | Source: Midjourney
“Nope,” the man sighed. “I’m either putting them in the ground too deep or too far apart.”
8. Bachelors
Two single guys were chatting, and they started talking about cooking.
“I got a cookbook last year,” the first guy said, “but I couldn’t make anything from it.”
“Was it too hard?” the second guy asked.
“Totally! Every recipe started the same way: ‘Get a clean plate and…'”
A man holding a cookbook in a kitchen with a sink full of dirty plates | Source: Midjourney
9. Copy That?
A new worker was puzzled by the office shredder.
“Want some help?” offered a nearby secretary.
“Yes,” he said, “how do I use this?”
“Easy,” she replied, taking his thick report and putting it in the shredder.
“Thanks,” he smiled, “but what side do the copies come out?”
Man shrugging confused next to a paper shredder in an office hallway | Source: Midjourney
10. Whoa, Amen!
A man got lost in the desert. After wandering for weeks, he found a small house. He was tired and weak, so he crawled to the house and fainted.
The owner of the house, a kind and religious man, found him and helped him get better. When the man felt stronger, he asked for directions to the nearest town.
As he was leaving, he saw a horse. He asked the owner if he could borrow it. The owner agreed but said, “To make the horse go, say ‘Thank God.’ To make it stop, say ‘Amen.'”
A horse drinking water from a puddle next to a small house in a deserted area | Source: Midjourney
The man didn’t really listen and said, “Okay, sure.” He got on the horse and said, “Thank God,” and the horse started walking. He said, “Thank God, thank God,” and the horse started running. Feeling brave, the man shouted, “Thank God, thank God, thank God!” and the horse went even faster.
Suddenly, he saw a cliff ahead. He tried to stop the horse, yelling, “Whoa, stop!” Then he remembered, “Amen!”
The horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff. The man took a deep breath and said, “Thank God.”
Man looking scared riding a horse | Source: Midjourney
11. Nutty Natter
A man went into a bar and ordered a beer. As he was drinking, he heard a voice say, “Nice tie!” He looked around, but he and the bartender were the only ones there. Then the voice said, “I like your shirt!” Confused, the man called the bartender over.
“Am I losing it?” he asked. “I keep hearing voices telling me nice things, but no one else is here.”
“It’s the peanuts,” the bartender answered.
“What?” the man asked.
“The peanuts,” the bartender said again. “They’re complimentary.”
Peanuts in a smiley face bowl on a bar counter | Source: Midjourney
My SIL Thought She Could Control My Kids at Her Halloween Party — Here’s What Happened
When my rich sister-in-law saw us in matching Superman costumes at her fancy Halloween party, she kicked my family out to “avoid confusion.” What she didn’t realize was that her mean move would lead to an unforgettable revenge in her fancy neighborhood.
I’m not usually a petty person, but sometimes life gives you chances for revenge that are too good to ignore.
Looking back, I should have guessed something was off when my mother-in-law’s eyes lit up at our Superman costumes in the store that day.
“Oh, how creative,” she said, smiling as brightly as her recent Botox treatment would allow. “The boys must be thrilled.”
She touched the fabric of Jake’s cape with her perfectly manicured nails, her nose wrinkling a little. “Though maybe something more… sophisticated would suit Isla’s Halloween party better?”
I barely held back a sigh. This was typical Brenda, always finding something to criticize about Dan and me.
When we started dating, I didn’t know my husband Dan came from a wealthy family. He chose to open an auto repair shop instead of joining the family finance firm, which made him the black sheep.
His family didn’t approve of me at first. Honestly, I didn’t approve of them either, with their snobby attitudes and complicated social rules. But I learned to deal with it after Dan and I got married.
“The boys picked the costumes themselves,” I told Brenda that day, straightening my back. “And they are so excited about it. The kids’ happiness is what matters, right?”
“Mmm,” she hummed, her usual look of disappointment crossing her face. “Well, I suppose that’s… sweet.”
I forced a smile. “It is. You should have seen how excited Tommy was when he suggested it.”
It was my oldest boy’s idea to dress as a Superman family. He burst into the kitchen after school, backpack bouncing against his shoulders, eyes bright with excitement.
Dan walked in just then, grease still on his cheek from working on a car. “That’s actually perfect, buddy. What do you think, Marcia?”
“Can we, Mom? Please?” Jake chimed in, bouncing on his toes. “We could be the strongest family ever!”
I agreed right away. The boys’ excitement was contagious, and we really needed some family fun after months of dealing with snide comments about our “quaint” lifestyle and Dan’s job.
Just last week, Isla had commented at dinner about how brave I was to shop at regular stores instead of her favorite boutiques.
And you know what Dan’s father said when he opened his fourth location? “At least you’re consistent in your choices, son.”
So, yes, we were craving a little joy.
On the night of Isla’s Halloween party, the boys were practically bouncing with excitement, their red capes fluttering in the fall breeze. Professionally carved pumpkins lined the driveway, each one probably costing more than our whole Halloween budget.
“Look at all the decorations!” Jake gasped, pointing at the elaborate display. “They even have fog machines!”
“And look at those skeletons at the guesthouse!” Tommy added, eyes wide at the fancy landscaping.
That’s when I saw Isla at the top of the marble steps in a matching but clearly designer Superwoman costume. Her husband Roger wore a movie-quality Superman suit, and their son was dressed the same way.
Their costumes caught the light beautifully, and Isla’s cape seemed to float perfectly as she walked down to meet us.
My stomach dropped. I could feel Dan tense beside me.
“Oh my,” Isla’s voice dripped with false sweetness as we approached. “What an unfortunate coincidence.” She fixed her perfect hair, the diamond bracelet on her wrist sparkling. “Though I must say, the resemblance between our costumes is rather… loose.”
“Isla—” Dan started, his jaw tight.
“You see,” she cut him off, waving her hand at the guests behind her, “we simply can’t have two Superman families at the party. It would confuse everyone.”
Her perfect red lips curved into a sly smile. “You’ll either need to go home and change, wear something from our spare clothes, or…” She waved dismissively. “Leave.”
Roger stood behind her, trying to hide his smirk behind a champagne glass. Their son, Maxwell, looked at my boys with that same superior expression I often saw on Isla’s face.
I felt Tommy’s small hand slip into mine, shaking slightly. Jake pressed against Dan’s leg, his earlier excitement fading fast. That’s when something in me snapped.
Eight years of subtle insults, watching my husband’s success being ignored, and seeing my kids’ joy dimmed by their aunt’s need to be superior all came together in that moment.
“Actually,” I said, squeezing Tommy’s hand and filling my voice with enthusiasm, “we’re going on an adventure instead. Right, boys?”
“But Mom—” Jake started, his lip quivering.
“Trust me,” I said over my shoulder.
“This will be way better than a stuffy party. How does the Halloween festival downtown sound? I heard they have a bouncy house shaped like a haunted castle.”
Dan caught my eye, and I saw the same fire in him that I felt. He wrapped his arm around Jake’s shoulders. “Your mom’s right. Who wants to hit the festival? I bet they have better candy than Aunt Isla’s fancy party.”
“Really?” Tommy’s eyes lit up. “Can we get our faces painted?”
“Absolutely,” Dan grinned. “We can get whatever you want.”
The festival turned out to be amazing. We played games, got our faces painted like superheroes, and took a ton of photos. Tommy won a giant stuffed bat at the ring toss, and Jake managed to bob for three apples in a row.
Dan treated us all to hot chocolate with extra marshmallows, and we watched a local theater group perform spooky skits.
“This is way better than Aunt Isla’s party,” Jake declared, chocolate smeared across his chin. “Way, way better.”
The next day, my phone rang.
It was Julia, who catered Isla’s party. We had become friends over the years, bonding over our shared status as “outsiders” in the Preston social scene.
“Marcia, you won’t believe what I overheard,” she said, her voice full of anger. “Isla was bragging about the whole thing. She bought those costumes just to kick you out!”
“What?” I gripped the phone tighter, sinking onto the couch.
“She told Roger, and I quote, ‘Finally, I put that brat and her little brats in their place.’ And he laughed! Called you guys a ‘discount superhero act.’” Julia paused, disgust clear in her tone. “There’s more.”
I sighed. “Tell me.”
“Isla called you a circus act and said, ‘At least now everyone knows where they stand in this family.’”
Everything clicked into place.
My mother-in-law’s reaction to our costumes, the whole setup, and the humiliation had been a planned attack on my family, using my kids’ joy against us.
“Thanks, Julia,” I said quietly, my mind racing with ideas. “I appreciate you telling me. Isla is not getting away with this.”
Two days later, I stood in front of the billboard I had rented across from Isla’s estate. Our family photo from the festival shone down on the street, showing us in our “discount” costumes, faces painted and full of joy.
The best part was the text above it: “The Real Super Family: No Villains Allowed.”
The town gossip spread fast. Texts and calls flooded in, some subtle, others openly delighted about Isla’s costume scheme backfiring. Memes started circulating on social media.
Even Roger’s mother called it “deliciously fitting” at her weekly bridge club. The local coffee shop began serving a “Super Family Special” of hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.
That evening, Dan found me in the kitchen, looking at my phone as another supportive message came through. This one was from his father’s secretary.
“You know,” he said, grinning with a sparkle in his eyes, “I’ve never been prouder to be married to a superhero.”
I leaned back against him, watching Tommy and Jake play superheroes in the backyard through the window. “Someone had to stand up to the villains.”
“Mom! Dad!” Tommy called from outside. “Come play with us! I’m Superman, and Jake’s Spider-Man now!”
“That’s not how it works!” Jake protested. “We can’t mix superhero worlds.”
“We can in our family,” Tommy declared. “We make our own rules!”
We joined our boys in the yard, capes flying, our laughter ringing off the fence.
At that moment, I realized something important: Isla might have fancy costumes and a big house, but we had a family that was truly super, not just playing dress-up.
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