When Elliot Costello and a group of other people visited Cambodia, he had an encounter with a young girl named Thea.
Little did Elliot know that this encounter would have an impact so profound on him that it would help start a movement whose goal is to end sexual abuse against children.
Namely, Thea always had nail polish on her tiny nails. One day, as she and Elliot chatted, she asked to paint one of his nails. He agreed and was happy to speak to the chatty girl, but he then learned that she was once a victim of sexual abuse.
“As she painted one of my nails, I assured her I would always keep it that way to remember her, and by extension, her suffering,” Elliot said.
This motivated Elliot to try and make positive change among men so that less and less children fall victims of sexual abuse.
That is when he came up with the movement called #PolishedMan where men put nail polish on one of their nails. That one nail represents the one in five children who will be victims of sexual violence.
Polished Man works towards ending sexual violence against children. According to the organization, “being a Polished Man means challenging violent behavior and language, both locally and globally.”
Elliot believes that since men are responsible for 96% of this type of violence against children globally, they should be catalyst for change if we are ever to see an end to the abuse of innocent children.
The goal with the painted nail isn’t just to remind people of the number of children who are abused every single day, but to serve as a conversation starter about this reality, leading to new ideas about prevention. He also hopes that people will start donating to “support educational programs and resources for child survivors of abuse,” as per APlus.
We hope that more men, including celebrities would be willing to join this movement.
I Was Humiliated at a Restaurant for My Age – So I Planned My Revenge
At 82, Everly faced discrimination when she was told she was “too old” and dressed “inappropriately” for a trendy restaurant. In response, she made a Facebook post that went viral, sparking outrage and calls for change.
My name is Everly, and I love trying new things, even at my age. One Thursday morning, my daughter Nancy surprised me with a visit to my garden shop. She suggested, “Mom, let’s try that new restaurant downtown!” Her excitement made me eager to go.
We both dressed simply; I wore a floral blouse and khaki pants, and Nancy was in jeans and a T-shirt. For us, it was about spending time together, not how we looked.
As we drove to the restaurant, we talked about how excited we were to make new memories. But our simple outing took an unexpected turn.
When we entered the restaurant, we were greeted by loud music and chatter. The place was lively, filled with a younger crowd who were stylishly dressed, making us feel out of place. Still, we didn’t mind; we were there to enjoy ourselves.
However, as we stepped inside, I noticed the host looking us over. His smile faded for a moment before he led us to a table by the window. It was a nice spot, but our experience quickly changed.
A young waiter came over, and while he initially seemed polite, his attitude shifted as he noticed our appearance. “I’m sorry,” he said, sounding less than sincere, “but this place might not be suitable for you.” His words stung.
He continued, “You seem too old for our usual clientele, and your outfits aren’t appropriate for the vibe here.” Nancy turned red with anger, and I felt a deep sadness at being judged for my age and how I looked.
The waiter wasn’t done. He said we had to leave “so as not to spoil the appetite of our guests.” Before we could respond, he signaled two bodyguards who came to escort us out.
The embarrassment was overwhelming. I felt the eyes of other customers on us as Nancy squeezed my hand tightly. We quietly left, feeling hurt and rejected.
Outside, Nancy was furious. She took out her phone and snapped photos of the bodyguards. “We need to share this, Mom. People should know how they treat others,” she insisted.
Later, in her kitchen, we posted the pictures on Facebook. Nancy shared our story, highlighting how we were judged unfairly because of our age and appearance. She tagged the restaurant and asked her friends to spread the word.
The post quickly went viral, with thousands of shares and comments. People expressed their shock and shared their own experiences with ageism. The restaurant’s ratings plummeted as customers voiced their disapproval.
Amid the uproar, Mr. Thompson, the restaurant owner, reached out to me. He was shocked and apologetic about the incident. “Mrs. Everly, I’m so sorry. I had no idea this happened,” he said, revealing that the waiter was his son.
He invited me back for a complimentary meal and offered a personal apology. I appreciated his honesty but told him, “It’s not just about a meal. It’s about how people are treated.”
Mr. Thompson agreed and said he had talked to his son about respect for all customers, regardless of their age or attire. He emphasized that his son would not inherit anything until he understood these values.
Our conversation was hopeful. It showed a willingness to make amends and recognize the need for change. As we ended the call, I felt validated yet still aware of the larger issue of ageism.
A week later, I dressed in my best silk dress—a deep blue that highlighted my eyes. I was ready to return to the restaurant, not as a victim, but as a woman who deserves respect.
Entering the restaurant again, the door chimes felt louder this time. The atmosphere was the same, but I felt empowered. Mr. Thompson welcomed me with a warm smile and took me to a lovely table by the window.
The waiter, Mr. Thompson’s son, approached me with hesitation. “Mrs. Everly, I’m very sorry for how I treated you last time. It was unkind,” he stammered, looking genuinely remorseful.
His apology seemed sincere, and Mr. Thompson added, “My son and I have discussed this situation. I made it clear that we must respect all customers, no matter their age or how they dress. He will not be part of this business if he doesn’t embrace those values.”
Satisfied with their commitment to change, I enjoyed my meal. It tasted wonderful and felt like a celebration of respect and understanding.
After returning home, I posted an update on Facebook. I shared photos of the meal and the apologies I received. “Change is possible,” I wrote, “when we stand against injustice and those in the wrong are willing to listen and learn.”
Reflecting on this experience, I realized the power of one voice amplified by social media. It was about more than just a meal or an apology. It was a reminder that everyone deserves respect, regardless of age or appearance. This ordeal showed me the strength of my voice and the importance of standing up for my values.
As I reflected on the entire experience, I felt a sense of empowerment. This journey taught me that standing up for myself and others can lead to meaningful change. The response from the community reminded me that many people share the same struggles and that we must support one another in the fight against ageism and discrimination.
I continued to receive messages of support from friends and even strangers who appreciated my story. It was heartwarming to see how a single act of injustice could spark conversations about respect and dignity for everyone, regardless of age.
In the weeks that followed, I became more active in my community, attending local meetings and advocating for inclusivity. I wanted to ensure that no one else would face the same humiliation I did. I also kept in touch with Mr. Thompson and his son, encouraging them to foster a culture of respect in their restaurant.
Through this ordeal, I learned that our voices can make a difference, and our experiences, no matter how painful, can lead to positive change. I felt grateful for my daughter Nancy, who stood by my side and took action when it mattered most. Together, we had turned a hurtful moment into a powerful opportunity for growth and understanding.
As I walked through my garden one sunny afternoon, I smiled, knowing that I had turned a painful experience into a catalyst for change. I looked forward to more adventures with my family, always reminding myself that age is just a number and that everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect.
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