Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.
They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.
Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.
Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.
Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.
Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.
She’s only worried about her own problems.
A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.
These mothers humiliate their children.
There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.
Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.
She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.
Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.
Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.
She thinks she always deserves the best.
A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.
This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.
Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.
This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.
She cares too much about how other people see her.
A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.
Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.
She complains about people that do something against her will.
Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.
These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.
Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.
A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.
Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.
She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.
Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.
Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.
They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.
A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.
This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.
Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.
One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.
Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.
These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.
Grandkids Destroyed My Neighbor’s House with Party While She Was at Husband’s Funeral – I Taught Them a Harsh Lesson
Grandkids Destroyed My Neighbor’s House with Party While She Was at Husband’s Funeral – I Taught Them a Harsh Lesson
My sweet old neighbor recently lost her husband and left to fulfill his wish to be buried beside his father, leaving her house in her grandchildren’s care. But the brats trashed it with a party and ran off. I stood up for the poor old lady and taught her grandkids a priceless lesson.
So, here’s a story about the time I had to teach some bratty grandkids a lesson they’d never forget. It all started with my sweet, kind, and friendly neighbor, Mrs. Jacobs.
Her husband, Mr. Jacobs, passed away recently. His last wish was to be buried next to his father’s grave, which was several hundred miles away on the other side of the city…
People at a funeral | Source: AmoMama
Mrs. Jacobs, being the devoted wife she was, went off to fulfill his last wish, saying she’d be back ASAP. She assured me everything would be fine while she was away.
Before she left, I offered to feed her two dogs and cats. Mrs. Jacobs thanked me but told me it wasn’t necessary.
“I’ve invited my grandchildren, Jordan and Ariana, to stay over while I’m gone. They’re in their sophomore year in college, so they can handle it,” she said. Famous last words.
An older lady walking on a porch | Source: AmoMama
She seemed so confident in their ability to manage the house and take care of her beloved pets, and I didn’t want to undermine her trust in them.
I’m a nurse, so I had a graveyard shift that night. The next morning, I decided to drop by Mrs. Jacobs’s house to check if everything was okay and maybe say hi to the grandkids.
A young nurse outside a house | Source: AmoMama
It had been several months since I last saw them, and I thought it’d be a good time to offer my condolences. Plus, I wanted to ensure Mrs. Jacobs’s pets were doing alright in her absence.
When I knocked on the door, no one answered. Weird. So, I slowly pushed it open, and it was unlocked.
For illustration purposes only | Source: AmoMama
What greeted me was pure chaos. Imagine empty alcohol bottles, broken cabinets, graffiti on the walls, stale pizza boxes, and clothes strewn everywhere. It was like a tornado had hit the place.
The mess was so extensive that it was hard to know where to start if you wanted to clean it up.
It didn’t take long to figure out what had happened. Her lovely grandchildren had thrown a massive party and left the house trashed.
A chaotic party scene | Source: AmoMama
I couldn’t believe my eyes. The audacity of these kids! Instead of being there for their grieving grandmother, they turned her home into a frat house.
They showed no respect for her or her property, and it made my blood boil.
I was seething with anger, but I knew I had to act fast. Just then, a cab pulled up, and out stepped Mrs. Jacobs. She looked exhausted but hopeful. But when she saw the mess, she burst into tears.
A shocked older woman | Source: AmoMama
It was heart-wrenching to see her so devastated by the destruction of her home.
“Nina, what… what happened to my house?” she sobbed, clutching my arm, her body shaking with the intensity of her grief and shock.
I took a deep breath. “I don’t know, but I’ll fix this,” I promised, trying to sound more confident than I felt. “Why don’t you stay at my sister’s place for a couple of days? I’ll take care of everything here.”
An upset older lady sitting on the couch | Source: AmoMama
Her eyes filled with gratitude. “What are you going to do?” she asked, looking at me with hope and desperation.
“Just trust me,” I said, giving her a reassuring smile. “I have a plan.”
Glistening eyes of older woman | Source: AmoMama
The next morning, I called Jordan and Ariana.
“Listen, your grandma is not well,” I lied. “She doesn’t have much time left, and she’s deciding who will inherit her estate.”
“Wait, what?” Jordan sounded shocked. My plan seemed to work and I knew I had his attention.
A young man talking on the phone | Source: AmoMama
“She’s got a significant amount of money in her bank account,” I continued.
“She’ll leave it to the grandchild who proves they care about her the most.”
“Are you serious?” Ariana asked when I called her next, excitement evident in her voice. I could practically hear the wheels turning in her head, calculating her chances of getting the inheritance.
A young woman in a cafe engaged in a phone call | Source: AmoMama
“Yes, and if she finds out about the mess you made, you’ll both be out of the will,” I warned, hoping the threat would motivate them to take immediate action.
Within hours, Jordan and Ariana showed up with a few friends.
They cleaned up the mess, scrubbed the walls, fixed the broken cabinets, painted the fence, and even took care of the leaky roof Mrs. Jacobs had been complaining about for months.
A young man and woman in a car | Source: AmoMama
I watched from my balcony, sipping on my cinnamon coffee, a triumphant smile on my face as they worked tirelessly to restore the house.
“Make sure you get that spot by the fireplace,” Jordan barked at one of his friends, pointing at the grime that had accumulated there over time.
A young woman clutching a cup of coffee on the balcony | Source: AmoMama
Ariana was on her knees, scrubbing the floor. “This better be worth it,” she muttered under her breath, clearly not enjoying the task but determined to see it through.
The next evening, Mrs. Jacobs returned. Her eyes widened in surprise as she took in the spotless house.
“Oh my goodness, Nina, I’m not able to recognize my own house! How did you manage this?” she asked, tears of joy streaming down her face.
A surprised older woman | Source: AmoMama
“Just a little trick, Mrs. Jacobs!” I replied, not giving away the whole truth. I wanted her to feel at peace and not worry about the effort it took to clean up the disaster her grandkids had left behind.
Her grandchildren hovered around her, eager to please. They competed for her attention, hoping to secure their place in her will. It was almost comical to see how quickly they had changed their tune.
Teary eyes of an older woman | Source: AmoMama
“Nana, I made your favorite stew,” Ariana said, presenting a steaming bowl with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. The effort was there, even if the sincerity was questionable.
Jordan cut in, “And I’m taking you to the new art exhibit downtown this weekend. Thought it’d be a nice change of pace,” he added, trying to one-up his sister.
Young man with older woman | Source: AmoMama
Over the next few weeks, I watched in amusement as Jordan and Ariana doted on their grandmother.
Jordan took her on a vacation to Miami, something he’d never done before, and Ariana drove her around town, did her laundry, and even cooked meals for her. They were going above and beyond to show their care.
Young lady in the kitchen | Source: AmoMama
It was such a pleasure to watch the grandchildren take care of Mrs. Jacobs and have most of her wants fulfilled. For instance, Mrs. Jacobs had a rotten tooth that needed immediate attention.
It thrilled my heart to watch Jordan and Ariana fight on the porch over who would take their grandma to the dentist.
Young man and woman staring at each other | Source: AmoMama
“You took her last time!” Ariana shouted, crossing her arms defiantly, clearly not wanting to back down from the responsibility.
“Yeah, but she likes my car better,” Jordan retorted, keys dangling from his finger, trying to assert his superiority.
An annoyed young lady | Source: AmoMama
You won’t believe it, but they started visiting their grandma regularly on weekends and even drove her to church every Sunday.
I was so happy for Mrs. Jacobs and the pleasant changes in her fragile, old age.
But deep down, it also saddened me to know that her grandkids were competing only for her money. It would hurt the poor old lady if she ever discovered this, right?
Woman sitting on a couch | Source: AmoMama
God, I hope such a day never arrives in Mrs. Jacobs’s life, or it would tear her apart.
One day, Mrs. Jacobs came over to my place, a radiant smile on her face.
“Nina, I’m so happy. My grandchildren have changed so much. They’re always around, taking care of me. I don’t know what you did, but thank you!” she chirped.
I smiled, squeezing her hands. “Just did what needed to be done,” I said, winking at her, feeling a mixture of satisfaction and relief that my plan had worked so well.
Happy older woman on a warm evening | Source: AmoMama
She hugged me tightly. “They’re taking me to a movie today,” she said, beaming with joy and pride in her “transformed” grandchildren.
As she left, I offered a silent apology, hoping she’d never discover the truth. I wanted her to live happily, surrounded by the love she deserved, without ever knowing the extent of my intervention.
Older lady and young woman embracing each other | Source: AmoMama
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