So I am at Walmart scanning and bagging my almost $300 worth of groceries while the employee that wants $15 an hour “monitors” and then this happened.
Her – why are you double bagging all of your groceries?
Me – excuse me?
Her – you are wasting our bags!
Me – if you don’t likе the way I’m bagging the groceries, feel free to come on over here and bag them yourself.
Her – that’s not my job!
Me – okay, then I will bag my groceries how I please if that’s all right with you.
Her – why are you using two bags?!
Me – because the bags are weak and I don’t want the handles to break or the bottoms to rip out.
Her – well that’s because you are putting too much stuff in the bag. If you took half of that stuff out and put it in a different bag then you wouldn’t need to double bag.
*10 seconds of me just staring at her.
Me – so you want me to split these items in half and put half of them in a different bag so that I don’t have to double bag.
Her – exactly.
Me – so I would still be using two bags to hold the same number of items.
Her – no because you wouldn’t be double bagging.
*me pressing two fingers to my left eye in an attempt to make it stop twitching.
Me – okay so here I have a jug of milk and a bottle of juice double bagged. If I take the milk out and remove the double bagging and just put the milk in the single bag and the juice in that single bag I’m still using two bags for these two items.
Her- no because you are not double bagging them so it’s not the same number of bags.
*me looking around at about 10 other customers who at this point are enjoying the show.
Me- is this likе that Common Core math stuff I keep hearing about?
Her- never mind you just don’t get it.
And with that, she went back to her little Podium so she could continue texting or playing games on her phone or whatever it was she was doing before she decided to come over and critique my bagging skiIIs.
My Нusbаnd Yеllеd аt My Вirthdаy Раrty Тhаt I Wаs Тоо Оld tо Wаnt — My Friеnd Тооk Rеvеngе оn My Веhаlf
Yesterday was my fifty-seventh birthday, and I was excited to celebrate, but my husband, Mike, had other plans. Recently, he’s been mocking my age every chance he gets. During the party, he humiliated me in front of our friends, saying, “You’re too old to dance, Emma. You might break a hip.”
My best friend, Karen, couldn’t take it anymore and revealed a sh.ocking secret: “Mike here can’t perform without popping a little blue pill. And you know how I found out? Because he cheated on Emma with my friend, Linda.”
The room fell silent, and I confronted Mike. “I’m done with your cruelty and your lies. You want to make me feel old and undesirable? Well, here’s a newsflash: I feel more vibrant and alive without you dragging me down.”
I left the party with Karen, feeling liberated and strong. We went to my favorite restaurant, where Karen toasted, “To new beginnings and to never letting anyone dull our sparkle!”
As we celebrated, I noticed a charming man, Alex. Maybe this was the start of something new. From that day forward, I embraced my life and age with renewed vigor, ready to face whatever came next with resilience and strength.
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