Calling someone “fat” can be a hurtful insult. But why is that?
This question came up when a mother named Allison shared her story about a recent swimming trip with her children. When her daughter called her fat, 30-year-old Allison had a clever response, and her message is now spreading quickly online.
Allison Kimmey began dieting when she was just 14 years old. She managed to stay at a size two to four through graduate school, but it was tough, and she wasn’t happy. Three years ago, at age 27, Allison reached a size eight and realized she would be much happier if she stopped fighting against her weight gain.
To motivate herself, Allison started an Instagram account, @allisonkimmey, where she shares pictures and inspirational messages. Her body positivity spreads joy and encourages her followers, but her important message doesn’t always reach everyone.
**Me:** “Actually, everyone, every single person in the world has fat. But each of us has different amounts.”
**Her brother:** “Oh right! I have some to protect my big muscles! But you have more than me.”
**Me:** “Yes, that’s true. Some people have a lot, and others don’t have much. But that doesn’t mean one person is better than the other. Do you both understand?”
**Both:** “Yes, mama.”
**Me:** “So can you repeat what I said?”
**Them:** “Yes! I shouldn’t say someone is fat because you can’t just be fat, but everyone HAS fat, and it’s okay to have different fat.”
**Me:** “Exactly right!”
Not only did Allison want to teach her children how to talk to others, but she also felt it was important to spread the message that everyone is equal, no matter their body shape. Now, her post on Instagram has gone viral.
“If I shame my children for saying it, then I’m proving that it’s an insulting word and continuing the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical, and undesirable,” writes Allison.
I Left My Husband Because of What He Wanted Us to Do on Our Wedding Night
Sometimes, it takes only one shocking revelation or unpleasant situation to make us reconsider a significant life step that we’ve taken. Sadly, this happened to our reader, Lana, on her wedding night. After discovering what her new groom wanted to do on their special evening, Lana became furious and decided to seek advice.
Hi Lana! Thanks for sharing your story with us. We’ve prepared a few tips for you that we think might be able to help you.
Embrace the moment and practice empathy.
Try to see the situation from your groom’s perspective and empathize with his desire to reconnect with his long-lost friend. While his decision may have hurt you initially, recognize that his intentions were likely not to cause harm, but to seize a fleeting opportunity to spend time with someone dear to him.
Take this moment to embrace the love and joy surrounding your marriage, and choose to forgive and move forward together.
Share your feelings calmly.
Lana, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts before addressing the situation. Instead of immediately lashing out, express your feelings to your groom in a calm and composed manner.
Explain to him how you were looking forward to spending your first night together as a married couple and how his actions made you feel neglected.
Create a memorable alternative.
Rather than dwelling on what could have been, seize the opportunity to create a unique and memorable experience for yourselves.
Since your groom wanted to spend time with his friend, suggest a creative compromise that still allows you to celebrate your marriage in a special way. Perhaps now as newlyweds, you could arrange a late-night picnic under the stars in a secluded spot, or book a couples’ massage at the hotel spa.
By thinking outside the box and crafting an alternative plan, you can make up to what happened on your wedding night and turn it into a cherished memory for both of you.
Clearly express your expectations.
It’s important to establish boundaries and expectations within your marriage, especially when it comes to balancing individual friendships and quality time as a couple.
Use this situation as an opportunity to have an open and honest discussion about your respective needs and priorities. Together, set clear limits for future scenarios where unexpected reunions or events may arise.
By proactively addressing potential conflicts and finding mutually agreeable solutions, you can strengthen the foundation of your relationship and prevent similar misunderstandings in the future.
Navigating the journey of newlywed life can pose its challenges, especially when faced with significant life-altering decisions. Take for instance Stacy, a 24-year-old woman and recent bride, who finds herself grappling with such a scenario. Despite her in-laws’ generous offer to purchase a house for them, Stacy hesitates, while her husband views it as an opportunity worth considering. Delve deeper into her story by reading more here.
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