Everyone has been guilty of giving compliments that turn out to be less-than-sincere upon closer inspection. However, backhanded “compliments” are some of the worst, especially since they’re disguised as sweet remarks. It’s important for friends to be honest with each other, of course, but couching hard truths in fake compliments is rarely the way to go. (Unless you’re auditioning for a Real Housewives franchise, of course, in which case you can carry on.) If you’re ever on the receiving end of a backhanded compliment from a friend, the real meaning might not even sink in until hours, or even days, later.
While backhanded compliments typically stem from the speaker’s own insecurities, that doesn’t make them any less hurtful, says Sherese Ezelle, LMHC, LCPC, a licensed behavioral therapist. And when they come from a friend, a backhanded compliment is likely to sting even more — and may even damage your relationship.
Backhanded compliments run the gamut from clueless comments to rude remarks, and can also be a form of microaggression, Ezelle says. If it seems like your pal has crossed a boundary, she recommends disputing their comment in the moment by calmly asking for more info. “More often than not, to challenge them on the spot allows for the individual delivering the ‘compliment’ a chance to defend or further explain their intent,” Ezelle tells Bustle. “You want to be sure to give an opportunity for conversation so that growth can happen and friendships can be preserved.”
Of course, different friendships have different dynamics. Some close friends tease each other mercilessly and, as long as everyone’s on the same page, it tends to be OK. That said, it’s alright to recognize when something feels more hurtful than funny, or more like passive-aggressiveness than silly banter, Ezelle says. If backhanded compliments seem to be a habit rather than an exception, you can always tell your friend to buzz off — or look for a new friend circle.
These 23 backhanded compliment examples can help remind you of what a barely-concealed dig really sounds like. That way, the next time your friend claims to love your outfit or announces that they find your apartment “cozy”, you’ll know exactly how to handle it.
1. “Your Instagram Makes You Seem So Fun!”
Why it’s backhanded: On the one hand, it’s good to know all your careful filtering and captioning haven’t been in vain. But when your friend says your Instagram seems fun, they may be implying that the real you is much less interesting than the image you’re trying to project.
How to respond: “Because I am fun!”
What they could have said instead: “I’m so inspired by the way you curate your feed. It really shows off your creative side.”
2. “You Look So Great In That Photo. I Can’t Even See Your Acne!”
Why it’s backhanded: The nice compliment is immediately weighed down by the acne comment. They’re basically saying you typically have a flaw, but in this photo, you only look great because that flaw is removed. “It would be particularly hurtful if you also had an insecurity about your complexion,” says Sarah Dumoff, LCSW, a psychotherapist and founder of private practice here/now.
How to respond: “Thanks. I love this picture too, though I feel good in photos even when my skin isn’t ‘perfect.’”
What they could have said instead: “Omg, you look amazing!”
3. “I Didn’t Expect You To Get The Job. Congratulations!”
Why it’s backhanded: When a friend makes a point of mentioning their low expectations, it takes away from their congratulations.
How to respond: “I worked really hard for this. Go me!”
What they could have said instead: “I was rooting for you and am so relieved it went well!”
4. “You’re So Independent. It’s No Wonder You Haven’t Found Someone Yet.”
Why it’s backhanded: Among all the things ambitious people are tired of hearing, this is probably the most common. In theory, such a remark compliments your sense of autonomy; in practice, it implies that your independence is driving potential significant others away. As an added bonus, it perpetuates the idea that you have to compromise your sense of independence in order to be attractive. Yikes.
How to respond: “Yup! And I’ll know someone’s right for me when they respect that.”
What they could have said instead: “If you ever want to get back into the dating pool, I know someone’s going to fall immediately for your drive.”
5. “I Love How You Don’t Care How You Come Across.”
Why it’s backhanded: Your friend may profess to love your devil-may-care attitude, but what they’re really saying is that they think you’re too “out there.” Either that, or they’re making a salty comment because they’re envious of your laid-back attitude.
How to respond: “Yes! It’s taken a lot of work to get my confidence to this level. I try not to focus on what others think anymore.”
What they could have said instead: “You always seem so confident and relaxed. Tell me all your secrets.”
6. “I Wish I Was As Chill As You About All This Clutter.”
Why it’s backhanded: The real translation may be, “Your place isn’t cleaned to my exact standards and I need you to know that.” Regardless of their intention, it’s rude to make comments when you’ve been invited into someone’s private space.
How to respond: “Really? What would you do differently?” Sometimes asking someone to explain their comment is a way to get them to pause, reflect, and realize they’re being mean.
What they could have said instead: “Thanks for having me over!”
7. “That New Haircut Looks So Much Better Than Your Old One.”
Why it’s backhanded: They’re right — your new ‘do does look fabulous. But no need to be rude about what you looked like literally an hour ago. It may also make you wonder how long they’ve secretly disliked your hair.
How to respond: “I’m all about changing up my look. I’ve loved all my hairstyles and this one’s great, too.”
What they could have said instead: “Wait, this so, so good.”
8. “I Love How You’ll Just Wear Anything.”
Why it’s backhanded: If you’re getting ready together, chances are this comment is constructive and your friend is trying to prevent you from leaving the house in a not-so-great look. If they make this comment once you’re already out, however, that’s when it’s officially rude — and it might even plant a seed of self-doubt that ruins your whole night.
How to respond: “Is that a hint? What’s wrong with my outfit?” You can be honest with each other, laugh it off, and ask if they’d like to offer some advice.
What they could have said instead: “Hold up, hold up. Do you still have those wide-leg pants? Those would be perfect for tonight.”
9. “I Would Never Be Able To Pull Off That Outfit!”
Why it’s backhanded: While it sounds like they’re admiring your style, your friend is likely saying they wouldn’t be caught dead in anything similar.
How to respond: “Thanks, yea. I’ve been feelin’ myself lately. I’m all about the cargo pants trend. Can you believe they’re back?” This is a way to brush off their comment and show your friend that your “weird” look is deliberate — and fashionable.
What they could have said: “Ugh, I can’t keep up with trends. Can you share your Pinterest with me?”
10. “You’re So Charming When You Make An Effort.”
Why it’s backhanded: Great! You’re being charming and suave right now. Mission accomplished. But what about when you’re lounging in your soft pants? Your friend is kind of saying that you’re not usually this charismatic.
How to respond: “I don’t always feel the need to be ‘on’ around my close friends, but sure, I can pull out the charm when need be.” You can also mention that their comment was hurtful. Remember, when in doubt, call it out.
What they could have said: “Bestie, you’re a shining star of wit and charm.”
11. “You Look So Professional With Your Hair Straight.”
Why it’s backhanded: Talk about microaggressive “complimenting” styles. On one end of the spectrum, they’re announcing that they believe you usually look bad or unkempt. On the other, they’re saying curly or natural hair is somehow unprofessional. And that’s not OK.
How to respond: “Well, I’m glad to know that you think my natural hair makes me look so unprofessional.”
What they could have said instead: Nothing. Or, “Did you do something different with your hair?”
12. “I Wish I Didn’t Have Any Responsibilities Like You.”
Why it’s backhanded: People might be inclined to say this to their friends who live with their parents or to those who don’t have kids. Living rent-free or child-free can be less stressful than many alternatives, but that doesn’t mean anyone’s life is totally carefree or without responsibility. Saying otherwise is passive-aggressive at worst and presumptuous at best.
How to respond: “Oh wow, do I make it look that way? I have a million plates spinning at once. How are things going on your end?” This will get to the real root of the issue, which is that they’re overwhelmed.
What they could have said instead: “Do you have any spare time to listen to me vent? I’ve been so stressed lately.”
13. “Your Place Is So Cozy.”
Why it’s backhanded: Calling someone’s apartment “cozy” is often code for “super tiny” or even “so tiny I don’t understand how you live here.” It’s also condescending since not everyone can afford a sprawling abode — or wants to live in one. It just isn’t what you want to hear when you’ve invited folks over for a housewarming.
How to respond: “Thank you! I put a lot of work into the decor. Wait, did you see my record player over here?”
What they could have said instead: “Thanks so much for having me over! I always love how you decorate. Oh! I brought a quiche.”
14. “You’re Coping With This So Much Better Than I Thought You Would.”
Why it’s backhanded: You’re literally on your couch in a onesie surrounded by tissues and rubbing at your puffy eyes — and this is better than what your friend thought? How did they expect you to deal with a breakup? You might not want to know.
How to respond: If you can muster some cheekiness, say, “Thanks for the vote of confidence, pal.” If you’re too upset say, “I just need someone to listen to me, if that’s OK.” Also, side note: If a certain friend isn’t supporting you the right way during a tough time, try reaching out to someone else. Another friend, family member, or therapist may be a better bet.
What they could have said instead: “What you’re going through is one of the toughest things ever. You’re handling it so well, but it’s also OK if you need to take more time for yourself.”
15. “You Look So Much More Awake With Makeup.”
Why it’s backhanded: Your friend may be trying to give you a compliment, but this one sends the message that you usually look bad or tired whenever you deign to go outside without blush or mascara. It might be their way of judging — or they simply might not realize why it’s a rude thing to say.
How to respond: “Wait, what do I normally look like?”
What they could have said instead: “I need that blush. Where’d you get it?”
16. “You Look Refreshed Today. I Almost Didn’t Recognize You!”
Why it’s backhanded: According to psychologist Dr. Roberta T. Ballard, Ph.D., this is a common backhanded compliment. It’s something you might hear from an office friend who means well, but doesn’t realize they’re implying you usually look messy or tired. Not to mention, it’s never smart to comment on someone’s appearance, especially if you don’t know what’s going on with their health or personal life.
How to respond: “Thanks. Guess it was that extra cup of coffee I had today.” And leave it at that.
What they could have said instead: “That color blue looks amazing on you.”
17. “You’re So Chill In Your Relationship.”
Why it’s backhanded: “It may be innocent admiration of your patience in your relationship, or it may feel like something else is being implied,” says Lauren Spinella, LPC, a licensed mental health therapist and owner of Peaceful Path Counseling. Are they really impressed by your patience during a tough time in your relationship, or are they implying you’re a doormat?
How to respond: “Do you feel like I’m too chill?” According to Spinella, it’s totally fair to ask for some genuine clarification in a non-accusatory way. That’ll open the door to a deeper convo.
What they could have said instead: “I really admire how patient you are. I’m also a little concerned that you’re dealing with so much and want to make sure you’re OK.”
18. “You Look Great For Your Age!”
Why it’s backhanded: While this one’s often said with the best of intentions, it’s steeped in ageism and the idea that you can only look good if you look young. “Sometimes the person giving the backhanded compliment might not have the intention of saying something hurtful, however, the impact is still there,” says therapist Emily Sharp, MA, LCAT, ATR-BC, RYT-200.
How to respond: “I’m sure you didn’t intend to, but when you make comments about my appearance it makes me uncomfortable.” Sharp says this will get the message across in a diplomatic way.
What they could have said instead: “You look great!”
19. “You’re So Articulate.”
Why it’s backhanded: Calling you articulate is a way to express shock that you said something intelligent. It has the same vibe as, “Wow, I didn’t expect you to be good at this.” The “you’re so articulate” comment also comes with a long history of racism, especially when aimed at Black people, Ballard says.
How to respond: “What did I say that surprised you?” Again, asking someone to explain their comment is a subtle way of calling them out.
What they could have said instead: Nothing. Or something like, “It’s always such a pleasure to talk to you. I’m glad we ran into each other.”
20. “You’re So Pretty. I Don’t Get Why You’re Still Single.”
Why it’s backhanded: This backhanded compliment can send your brain swirling through a list of possible meanings. Are they saying something else is wrong with you? Or that you’re incomplete until you meet a partner? Whatever it is, it won’t feel good.
How to respond: “How are the two related?”Depending on the type of relationship you have with your friend, you can straight up call them out or ignore them, Sharp says. “You can also respond to a portion of the backhanded compliment that feels genuine, in order to maintain positivity,” she tells Bustle. “Everyone handles these situations differently, but the important part is validating your feelings for yourself.”
What they could have said instead: “We haven’t chatted about our dating lives in forever! Are you talking to anyone or nah?”
21. “I Love Your Nails. It Must Be Nice To Have So Much Extra Time In Your Day To Pamper Yourself.”
Why it’s backhanded: “This may be an innocent comment,” Spinella tells Bustle. “But it’s also understandable for someone to be put off by hearing it. You might think, are they implying that I don’t have a lot going on or that I am prioritizing the wrong things?”
How to respond: “What do you mean?” While it’s often possible to glean the intent of a backhanded compliment, Spinella says it’s best to ask for clarification, especially if the words hurt.
What they could have said instead: “I love how you did your nails! It can be so hard to prioritize self-care with a busy schedule. Maybe you can help me do the same?”
22. “You Look So Comfortable!”
Why it’s backhanded: This isn’t a real compliment, says wellness coach Dr. Cali Estes. Instead of saying what they really think, it’s a roundabout way for your friend to indicate that they don’t like your outfit or that they think it’s inappropriate for a situation.
How to respond: “Thanks! I’m so grateful to be comfortable so I can fully enjoy myself at this wedding.”
What they could have said instead: “I love your outfit. I really wish I would have chosen something more comfortable, too.”
23. “You’re Incredible For Working That Hard! I Could Never Leave My Cat Alone All Day.”
Why it’s backhanded: While it feels like they’re complimenting your work ethic, what they’re actually doing is commenting on your choices as a caretaker. This one’s also commonly aimed at new moms, according to Dr. Anisha Patel-Dunn, DO, a psychiatrist and chief medical officer of LifeStance Health.
How to respond: “What do you mean by that?” Patel-Dunn recommends asking for more info. For instance, “Ouch, I feel a bit hurt by that comment. Can you clarify what you mean because this is what I heard…”
What they could have said instead: “You’re the queen of getting stuff done. How do you do it?”
15+ Stepparents Who Were Actually “Parents Who Stepped Up”
Blending families can be tricky, especially for children who suddenly have a new stepmom or stepdad. It’s a big adjustment to accept someone new in their lives. But when the parent’s new partner is patient and kind, it can lead to something beautiful.
- My parents divorced when I was 4 years old. Dad left the family and married another woman. But I didn’t grow up with psychological trauma. My dad spent a lot of time with me, my stepmother was cool, she loved me very much, and she invented all sorts of entertainment just for the 2 of us with my dad.
I love both my brother and sister from that side very much. I grew up in a healthy atmosphere of love and comfort, which is the most important thing! Overheard / Ideer
- When I was 16, I had a huge argument with my mom and stormed out of the house. Angry and upset, I caught a taxi late at night after a party. But halfway through the ride, the driver started acting strange, taking wrong turns and ignoring what I said. Fear started creeping in, and I didn’t know who to call. Without thinking, I texted my stepdad, even though we hadn’t been that close.
Within minutes, he called me, asking where I was and trying to calm me down. Somehow, he tracked my location and showed up just in time. He made the driver pull over and took me home safely. That was the moment I realized he wasn’t just my mom’s new husband, he was someone who truly cared about me, like family should. - “My mother passed away when I was in the 4th grade. Less than a year later, my father married for the second time. My stepmother treated me very kindly and affectionately, but I thought she was showing off in front of my father and thought she was hypocritical, and so did the people around me.
When I was 14, I had a pretty complicated surgery. When I woke up, I found her sitting next to me, stroking my legs and crying.” Overheard / Ideer - “My mum split up with my dad and got together with her high school sweetheart when I turned 4. I remember my early childhood well! A few months into our life together, I suddenly turned to my stepfather and said, ‘Dad, can you give me this?’ I couldn’t reach something.
My stepdad confessed later that he cried because no one had asked me to call him Dad. And I just decided that he was my dad now. And he has been ever since! I don’t even think about my biological father. My new dad went to my school events, showed me off to his family, bragged about me, taught me about life, and helped me stay on track, and now he’s teaching me how to drive.
I cry when I think about the fact that he was 25 years old and liked to party, and then there was my mom and me. He turned his life around for us! He found a stable job, and a house, started his own company, and became a huge success. Many men wouldn’t give up their lifestyle for a woman with a child.” OhSoInfinitesimal / Reddit - “My family is not like the others. I have 2 moms and 2 dads. The thing is that my parents divorced when I was 13 years old. They separated peacefully, they just realized that they didn’t love each other anymore and didn’t want to suffer. After the divorce, each of them met their significant other.
The second marriage worked out well for both parents. At the same time, my stepmother and stepfather treated me with love and care, as well as my parents. And I know for a fact that I can turn my problems to each of my ’parents.’
Now I am a mother myself, and I am very grateful that they created such a warm family atmosphere despite all the difficulties.” Not everyone will understand / VK
- “I remember the exact moment when I got to love my stepmother. It was the second week of our living together, she was pouring tea and asked me to bring the homemade cake. I, being a sweet tooth, tried to bring it to the kitchen as fast as possible and dropped it with the frosting down in the hall. My stepmother came out to the noise, looked at this, and went back into the kitchen. I cringed.
But she came back with 2 cups of tea, we were sitting right on the floor and eating this delicious cake. My mother used to berate me for any tiny mistake. My father’s new wife raised me like her own daughter, always surrounded me with care, love, and warmth.” Overheard / Ideer - “My father left us when I was 4. My mom remarried. And I got some stupid jealousy, I was always doing everything to spite my stepfather. I complained about him to my mom a lot.
She couldn’t stand it and suggested they get divorced. I was listening under the door and was so happy! But then I heard my stepfather say that he couldn’t live without us, and it would be hard for us financially. After graduating from high school, I entered university, not without the help of my stepfather’s friends. Everyone at home was happy, and we decided to celebrate this event in a cafe.
In the third year, I got pregnant, but my boyfriend refused to marry me. I was ashamed to admit it to my parents, especially to my mom. By this time, having grown up, I changed my opinion about my stepfather a little, but I was still rude to him out of habit.
But at this difficult moment in my life, I realized that he was the only person I could talk to. And I was right. It was the first time that we talked frankly. I felt very guilty and asked him to forgive me. For all these years, my father had never once remembered about me. I gave birth to my son and finished my studies, my parents helped me with everything.
This year my son is going to school for the first time, and we are all preparing for this event, especially his grandfather. They are very attached. The love of my grandson is probably compensation to my stepfather for what I did. And from myself, I want to say, ’I’m sorry, Dad!’.” Larisa / Ispovedi - “I never got along with my stepmother. I was 13 when my dad met her. I didn’t accept her and pushed her away. When I was 19, I began to paint.
On my 20th birthday, she arranged a surprise: she gathered all my friends, relatives and acquaintances and organized an exhibition of my works in her gallery! I was delighted, and my heart began to melt.” Chamber 6 / VK
- “My parents divorced when I was 14, but they remained friends, no drama. I was old enough to understand everything, and together we decided who I would live with. Mom moved in with another man after a while. I stayed with my dad, now we live together with my stepmom.
I like everything, my stepmom is a great woman. We communicate well with my mom, she comes often, helps me with money, and buys me clothes. Her man’s not bad either.
It’s so annoying when other people start saying about my mom, ‘What kind of mother is she? How could she leave her kid?’ And I have a wonderful life, I have a good relationship with my parents. But other people, of course, know better.” Chamber 6 / VK - “When I was seven, my mom remarried. I wasn’t thrilled about having a stepdad and made it clear I wanted nothing to do with him. He didn’t push—he just quietly supported me. When I struggled with my schoolwork, he spent hours helping me without ever complaining. One day, after winning an award at school, I saw him in the audience, tearing up. That’s when I realized he cared for me just as much as my real dad would have.”
- “In 8th grade, I wanted to become a straight-A student, but I was pretty bad at math. I often cried, and my mom reassured me, ‘Don’t worry, we’ll think of something. You will be a straight-A student.’ And the most interesting thing is how this problem was solved: she married my math teacher.
My stepfather explained math to me every evening in such a way that I understood everything. So, I became a straight-A student. I graduated from school with honors and in university, I was good at higher math as well thanks to my stepfather. That’s how my mom solved my math problems.” Not everyone will understand / VK - When my mom died, my world turned upside down in ways I couldn’t handle. Five years later, my dad remarried, trying to give me and my sister the support we were missing without a mother. I wasn’t sure how to feel about my new stepmom. She didn’t try to step into my mom’s shoes or force a connection, and at first, that made me think she didn’t care. I kept my distance, convinced she didn’t want to be a part of my life.
But over time, I started to see things differently. She wasn’t pushing because she understood that I needed space. Her love was quiet and patient, waiting for me to come around. She let me heal at my own pace. Slowly, we formed a bond, and I realized she never intended to replace my mom. She just wanted to be there for me in her way. My stepmom is my best friend now.
- “My father was a very influential man. He was strict not only at work but also with his family and loved ones. When I was 3 years old, my mom decided to leave him. So my father said he would never give me to her.
Mom accepted this and left. She called me once a week and sent me presents. But after that, I only saw her when I was 18 when she came to ‘meet’ me. That’s when I learned the story. My mom expected me to feel sorry for her, but I couldn’t.
Because I already had a mom. Or rather, a stepmother. She too, after a couple of years of marriage, wanted to leave my father. And my dad strictly forbade her to even come near me if she left. She had no rights over me, but she decided to stay for me.
My stepmother became the most affectionate, kind, gentle mom in the world. We communicated a lot, went out, and played together. She always tried to protect me, to take any blame. But I knew that she and my father even slept in different rooms.
When I turned 18, she divorced my dad, and we moved into her one-bedroom flat together. And we are happy. So I can’t feel sorry for my biological mother, who chose her own life over mine.” Chamber 6 / VK - “When I was a teenager, my mom used to scold and call me names all the time. I got used to it. My mom and dad didn’t live together, they both had other families.
My dad at that time also started to scold me for my grades, but my stepmother stood up for me and said, ‘Stop it! If you tell a person they’re a pig, they’ll sit down and squeak. She’s smart and talented.’
I cried. Many years have passed since then, and we are still close with my stepmother, while the relationship with my parents is still strained.” Overheard / Ideer - “I was a terrible stepdaughter. I drove all my father’s girlfriends crazy. They would run away crying, ’This child is a monster!’
One day, he got another girlfriend. She was quiet and shy. But she pissed me off too, and I made her cry. So, I’m sitting in my room, and hear the sobbing has stopped.
Then there’s a knock on the door. She’s standing there asking for help because she loves my father… She was the first person who asked for my help, she’s now my favorite family member. Overheard / Ideer - I was 15 when my mom remarried. My new stepdad didn’t try to bond with me right away, which I appreciated because I wasn’t ready for that. He stayed in the background, just fixing things around the house and helping out quietly. It wasn’t until my car broke down miles away from home and he drove hours to get me, without saying a word, that I realized he was always there for me. He didn’t need to say much—his actions spoke louder than words.
“When I was 8 years old, my mom got married for the second time. I was very hostile toward my stepfather. He was a nice man, but the very thought of him taking Dad’s place drove me crazy. Mom was torn between us.
It wasn’t until I was 10 when everything changed. It happened when he came to school to defend me from the teacher. I started ignoring him less often and agreed to go for walks together a couple of times. That same year, on his birthday, I made him a present for the first time: I gave him an envelope with a card where I wrote, ‘Will you adopt me?’
It was the first time I saw a grown man crying while tucked into the shoulder of a little girl. A month later, he became my dad, and after that my daddy.” Not everyone will understand / VK
“My parents divorced when I was 10 years old. My mom moved to another country for work and left me with my dad. And then my dad married again.
His new wife was 14 years younger than him, and I thought she was a gold digger. I didn’t like my stepmother and didn’t treat her well. Until one day she rescued me from a fire, even though she was badly injured.
After that incident, she became the best mom in the world to me. My mom judged me, but she saw me once or twice a year. My stepmom, on the other hand, became a real mom to me. This life lesson taught me not to judge people at first sight.” Mamdarinka / VK
“Junior year of high school, my dad got remarried to the woman he’d cheated on my mom with several years prior. As an angsty teenager, I was none too thrilled with his new marriage and was honestly pretty cold towards her whenever we saw each other. A year later, my dad was taking me to the airport on my way to college, and my stepmom took off work to meet us there and send me off with a care package.
She hugged me and told me that she was proud of me, and when she stepped back, I saw that she had tears in her eyes. It was at that moment that I realized that she wasn’t a bad person, even if she (and my dad) had done some bad things in the past. Our relationship improved dramatically after that, and now she’s like a second mother to me.” OldSaintNickCage / Reddit
“My biological dad died when I was young and my mom got remarried within a year. From a single guy with one kid to a married man with four kids, one of whom was disabled, my stepdad became my ‘second dad’ when I grew up and realized the sacrifices and challenges he went through to care for us (without a lot of help from my mom). I got it when I became a parent, myself.” Unknown author / Reddit
Parents aren’t just the ones who gave birth to you—they’re the ones who are there when you need them most. Experts say kids often struggle more with stepmoms than stepdads, but many stepparents step up and raise their stepchildren with love.
Parents aren’t just the ones who gave birth to you—they’re the ones who are there when you need them most. Experts say kids often struggle more with stepmoms than stepdads, but many stepparents step up and raise their stepchildren with love.
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